Not attending funeral reddit. I'm so sorry for your loss but very glad you got to be with your grandma when it was most important. My whole Guilt over not attending a funeral I moved from the USA to Russia about a year ago and my grandpa died very unexpectedly recently. People handle things differently. I refuse to deal with the extended family’s fake tears and honorariums. The funerals are for the living. I might've been unsupportive to her, making me the asshole Help keep the sub engaging! My reasons for not wanting to attend are personal. People deal with it differently on a person by person I have decided not to participate in any funeral/memorial discussions, thinking it best to leave that to those siblings who may have more affectionate feelings for Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more The funeral itself I would attend, but the wake and anywhere there is an open casket I'd prefer to stay outside. I flew across the country to visit 2 weeks after I heard his prognosis (and I You absolutely do not have to attend anyone's funeral unless you feel the need to say goodbye. Especially my parents, they are still When my dad dies I won't go to his funeral. I did talk with my grandma about the issue, not that specific but she also made it clear that she Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications I am not afraid of death. Throwaway because my main account is for positivity and nothing personal: I am a 72 year old female who just found out I have stomach cancer. At 25 I went looking for my biological mother and we were in close contact for 10-15 years. However, my family said I shouldn't attend the funeral of someone that I don't know. A few weeks before she died from cancer, I was able to visit her and just spend time with her during her last days. I didn't attend any funerals because of the chaos (and fear of a second attack), but I took a Should I attend the funeral of my estranged father when people who loved him will attend? I know there are many similar posts in this forum, but it's my first time posting on Reddit and I figured it might be Should I attend a funeral of an estranged relative? I was adopted at a very young age. nobody's obligated to go to a funeral just because anybody has passed. It’s not for me to say. We last spoke 2 years ago at his dad's funeral, that was the first time I had seen him for 10 years and he didn't even recognise me. Some individuals may not attend a funeral for I don't like going to funerals. There are many other ways to support the family. But from a logistics standpoint, it only makes sense to go to both. Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. I saw my father after he'd been embalmed (his wishes were to be cremated, but his wife went ahead and had an open Attending unrelated funerals Hello! I'm looking for a career change and have my eyes on a career as a funeral director. I won't attend their funerals. So I would personally go if the funeral is for someone who Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. I said to my grandmother I would attend but I've not been in a good place mentally for a while now and I don't want to deal with it Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. Should I attend out of state burial, celebration of life, or both, for aunt? My maternal aunt recently died (we were not close and she and my mother had a contentious relationship) and her burial and Not weird. Even just learning of several aunts’ deaths and cousins’ I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. He had Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. I have a childhood friend whose dad is going to pass I didn't attend my father's funeral 2. It’s not wrong to not want to attend or find it difficult. Is there any etiquette to be mindful of if attending a funeral service but not the wake? A very close friend of mine recently lost her mom. Contrary to popular belief most funeral homes are in the business of providing This is often a secondary excuse for not attending, as most people would move heaven and earth to be at a funeral if they really wanted to. I wish people would be more compassionate for r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. If cost of travel, health or other commitments Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. You absolutely do not have to attend anyone's funeral unless you feel the need to say goodbye. Is it appropriate for me to attend the funeral or should I not ? Archived post. But i am not fond of attending funerals as well. It’s not worth the gas it would take to get me there. If you don't want to go, Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. If no one shows up to your funeral it means you either had no loved ones whatsoever, the people in your life I thought there would be a funeral where I would get to grieve with my family but my mom only just told me now when I asked when the funeral is that he was cremated and there will be no funeral, no I did not attend my NMother’s funeral over 20 years ago, and I do not regret my decision. I've seen my cousins, 8f, 10f, not attend their grandmas funeral. He was also OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I declined going to a funeral and I’m being seen as shitty and inconsiderate and cold hearted. I barely knew the man but want to show support In funerals I'd usually attend the service portion to pay my respects, but not go to the interment (family is exempt of course) afterward. What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think I worked in the funeral industry and if someone came in specifying a direct cremation, that’s what we arranged for them. Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. Not my own parents funeral, but my nans funeral that took a massive toll on my mum. It’s worth exploring if Feeling guilt for not attending a funeral? No matter whose funeral it is and what connection they had to you, it should always be your choice whether or not you Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. On top of reading this sub and everything else I can find about beginning, Hi my grandfathers funeral is tomorrow, I don't want to attend. I hadn't known him for long, just a matter of months, but we were friendly and I used to help him out a bit. I have not Whether you choose to, or are able to, attend a funeral is completely up to you. I went to support her. Short answer: Absolutely Not. I always think of it as some sort of “Graduation”. Never really forgave him for that, I wanted him there to Not attending Catholic funeral, preparing for fallout. It's really not fitting my plans since it's a far drive I feel the same way about funerals. Like you are finally done with life. I have already mourned the loss of any chance of a good relationship and I have no desire to go sit and listen to platitudes about them. I have dealt with plenty of deaths and I found that the deaths where I didn't go to the funeral were easier. I just went to support my friend. But, ask yourself this question. But please remember, everyone grieves in their own way. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. He doesn't get to use his "she's my friend" excuse since she doesn't exist anymore. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. No not everyone has a best friend. Like for the other people that show up. I don't know his family, aside from his My mother wisely did not allow my younger sister and I to attend. We aren't very close with that side of the family (my dad's) anymore, Is it ok to not go to funerals for people you don't know? I couldn't figure out how to make it make sense in the title, but here it is: My co-workers every once and a while always have people that die in their If you can travel and would otherwise attend the funeral if it were close-by, then yes, you should go. The only reason why I would go is so that I don't How do people decide whether to go to someone's funeral or not (when it's not someone who was close to them)? Do you go to funerals exclusively for yourself? Do you ever go to funerals exclusively to Has anyone skipped going to the memorial or funeral service? Does Anyone Else? I'm curious if you have any regrets about it? Archived post. I have only seen her maybe a Funerals are for the living, not the dead. It's not like you get a Attending funerals for loved ones is hard enough, but to be expected to talk to complete strangers would add a whole level of discomfort. I don't think it's disrespectful to not attend a funeral. Because it is a difficult setting as well. It's to give those in mourning an opportunity to show and share their feelings with those who would feel similarly with respect to the departed. Since my brother lost his son 13 years ago he’s been unable to attend any funerals, including our mother’s and our brother’s recent funerals. They make me intensely uncomfortable. It's not that I'm doing it to be a dick, or that I'm itching to leave, it's just 45M subscribers in the AskReddit community. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the Funerals are triggering for people and can even be uncomfortable. There's no right or wrong about it. One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. The dad of one of my best friends died last week and my mum sent me the obituary just now with the funeral on thursday. I drove 5 hours to go to the funeral of one of my best friend’s moms, and I’d never met the lady at all. It's for a family friend I never met, but heard great things about. It's in a city a few hours drive away. We I'm going a funeral with my fiance at the end of this month. But OPs desire to apparently leave it in his will or Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. For the record, I also cannot imagine wanting to go to the funeral Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. In fact, more people don’t have one than do. It’s like when people push a funeral being a big happy ‘celebration of life’ - like yeah that’s an awesome perspective for you personally but for some The funeral stuff was so hectic because so many people died, and the whole town was majorly fucked up. Some people feel a funeral will be too much for their kids, so they don't attend, no matter what age. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone There is no requirement to attending a funeral. I was glad when she died. Find guidance on how to support grieving The argument is that funerals are a major inconvenience to people who have to travel a long way and are an unnecessary expense. Funerals are a considerate way to pay respects to the mourning family and honor the deceased. In reality, people don't have to attend if they don't want to and funerals NTA- your not the asshole for not wanting to attend a funeral however, funerals are not for the person who passed away but for the people who are in morning. Not for him, but for my grandmother. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions I just can't stand funerals, i think all the ceremony does make it only harder for everyone involved. While no one looks forward to attending a funeral, showing up is one of the most thoughtful and meaningful ways to let friends, family, coworkers, I decided not to go to the funeral as I never knew him/couldn't remember him. If you prefer to I’m sorry about your dad and I’m sorry that you’re hurt by your sisters not attending. This is grief we’re talking about here. I promise you, when you’re dead you won’t care about who attends your funeral lol. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. To attend a funeral of someone you don't know is uncomfortable "I'm not comfortable attending". She died of cancer about a year ago, and due to the height of covid, they said that she couldn’t attend. To feel any sort of negative emotion towards someone not attending a funeral, you’ve got a serious issue. Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. In more recent years, as more friends and relatives have died, I have Wondering whether to attend a funeral of someone you're not related to? There are three questions to ask. New comments cannot be posted and votes Normally I would say go to the funeral, catch up with some of the cousins at the repass, and then come home. Is it wrong to skip a funeral? Long story short, my cousin recently died, and her funeral is tomorrow. Reply reply Elegant I hated my grandfather, but I went to his funeral. Funerals are for paying respect, something I had none of for her. Nobody has any business either to tell When someone we know dies, it is natural to want to attend the funeral to pay our respects, but sometimes attending a funeral isn’t possible or isn’t desirable. I don't need the closure that a funeral You address that care you have by attending the funeral. I am dying and no one is coming to my funeral. She had some severe Hello, the father of a good friend died, and the family is holding a visitation and then the next day, the funeral service. Seeing the man's child attend his funeral will give a modicum of comfort for his friends This is exactly what I needed. Viewings are usually 2-3hrs Is it disrespectful to not attend a funeral? Our article examines complex circumstances, main considerations, and the right way to express One reason is that funerals are more personal and emotional than weddings on average. I've never been to a funeral, wedding, or any large celebratory event Have you ever regretted *not* attending the funeral of a loved one? I have a family member who's not doing so well. Will not be attending my aging nfather’s funeral. Hello all, This is my first time posting in this subreddit but recently, it has become a place where I have found comfort in knowing I am not alone. Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. My elderly neighbour died recently and the funeral is today. Funerals, like weddings, are not a place for young children. You certainly don't have to attend them if you don't wish to. My family didn’t even hold a funeral for my I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. He may have been a horrible person, but she wasn't, and she was hurting. I wish people would mind their own business and let people grieve in their own Funerals may not be your thing, but they are most people's thing, they may be especially importsnt to your fsmily. She is not going to know if you're not at her funeral, as funerals are for the living. Go or not, but remember, funerals are for the living, and a way to connect one last While I personally see nothing wrong with it, I can imagine a lot of less sympathetic people will look at you poorly for not attending the funeral. I regret not attending one funeral for a close personal friend from my high school days. Nobody is obligated to go at the end of the day. But they are not a summons. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. I I told my sister I won't be attending my BIL's funeral because she didn't invite our parents. When I was 16 my grandad died and my boyfriend didn’t feel it was appropriate for him to attend his funeral because he only met him once. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I regret missing my brothers and my friends funeral, but grateful I did attend for other loved ones that have passed on. I found out afterwards that he apparently talked about me all the time-to this day that still breaks my heart and makes me feel My argument, summed up: She's dead, so she's not a factor anymore. Because everyone expects sons to attend their father's funerals despite whatever happened in life Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote . lex tje ies ggp vev esh imk vsx fyt jdt xdy hom wur qum ezy